Passing Notes
by teanotes
Summary: Through the many speeches and talks inside the venerable classrooms of Hogwarts Academy, it's the ones written on plain parchment that entertain us the most. Dropped.
1. Moony's Chocolate Stash & Plan B

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor it's awesomesauce characters.**

**Alright, then. I've decided to start a little series of short note-passing between Harry Potter characters. This first one is in the Marauder Era.**

**I actually did this on Word and in cool little fonts that look like handwriting so I was kinda pissed at myself for remembering that there's only one font on here. Yeah. I'm forgetful like that.**

**Anyways, here's the list of people so you don't get confuzzled.**

Lily

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

_*Peter_

_**Professor McGonagall**_

* * *

><p>What are you doing, you git?<p>

I am doing nothing that concerns you, dearest Lily-flower.

… Do you know how much I want to hex you right now?

I know that you're attracted to me.

Ha. I just snorted right now. In your dreams, Potter.

You are in my dreams.

**Yuck. Too much information, Prongs.**

Hey! Get your own piece of parchment!

**Well, Wormy drooled over mine. He's still sleeping. I wonder when Minnie will notice.**

_Her name is Professor McGonagall, Padfoot. At least leave her a decent amount of respect._

**Aw, Remus, you're such a killjoy.**

As much as I love hearing you idiots ramble on, I want to know why Potter over here keeps looking out the window every time McGonagall turns her back.

Aw, I always knew you stole secret glances at me when I wasn't looking. That just proves that you love me.

…

**I think you made Evans throw up in her mouth.**

_Now she's gagging._

Alright! I get it. Merlin.

No, but seriously, what are you lot planning? As Head Girl, I deserve to know what you're doing!

And as Head Boy, your request is vetoed.

_Wow, James, where did you learn that big vocabulary word?_

Shut up.

**I'm hungry! Do you think we could trick Minnie into thinking class is over?**

One, you're always hungry, Pads. And two, we tried that trick yesterday.

**Oh? And what happened again?**

_We got detention._

**Right.**

Hey! Stop changing the subject! If you don't tell me, I'll give each and every one of you a detention!

**What? You can't do that! We didn't do anything wrong!**

Sure, just like you didn't jinx that fourth year Slytherin into buying you one of every candy at Honeydukes last week.

**You saw that?**

_Man, you should have made him buy two of every kind._

Remus!

_Sorry, I'm a sucker for chocolate._

Yeah, he's got a whole stash of them beneath his four-poster.

_Hey! It's called a secret stash for a reason!_

_*What'd I miss?_

Oh my Merlin, you write so small, Pettigrew. I can barely see it.

_*Well, sorry for not going to writing school._

… Um, Wormy, I think school counts as "writing school".

**That's what it said? I thought it said, "winnie the pooh".**

_Why on earth would you think it said that? Now look what you did, you hurt Wormtail's feelings. Never mind, I think he's sleeping again._

Ugh. If no one will answer me, I'll

**You'll what, Evans?**

I'll tell McGonagall that it was you who jinxed Severus to follow her around while proclaiming his love for her on Monday.

**You wouldn't.**

Oh, but she would.

**Not helping, James! Although that prank was awesomely awesome, I have a feeling Minnie didn't like it as much as I did.**

_No, really?_

**I don't appreciate your sarcasm, Moony.**

Okay, what are you lot planning? Tell me! Or else I'll have to resort to plan B.

What's plan B?

…

**Oh, no. Is.. Is she FLIRTING WITH HIM? She's batting her eyelashes at Prongs. He's going to break!**

_We'll just have to keep faith in him. No! She's doing the hair flip._

**Merlin, he's a goner.**

_Now she's feeling his shoulder._

**You can see him twitch from here. I didn't know anyone could sweat so much until I saw this.**

_And! … He broke. He's gonna tell. It was nice knowing you, Padfoot._

**Dramatic much? But, yeah, nice knowing you too, Moony.**

Alright! I'm waiting for the signal from a second year we paid to let me know when Snivellus is out of Potions so I could dash out of this class and play a prank on him.

Hm. That's it?

Uhhh… Yes?

Alright, then. If it's just that.

**What? Who are you and what did you do with the real Lily Evans?**

I heard Severus, I mean Snape make fun of the new Griffindor muggleborn yesterday.

**Oooh. Did I catch first-name basis over there, Flower?**

Shut up, you foul git.

**What is it, pick on handsome men day?**

Yay! This makes the prank even better. It's Lily-approved!

Well, then, if you don't mind, I'm going to now actually listen to what Professor McGonagall has been saying. Just like what Remus has been doing for the past five minutes.

Moony! You traitor!

**Yeah! You're kicked out of our club!**

We don't have a club.

**Well, I made one right now so he's officially booted out!**

_**It's nice to know you two are paying attention in my class.**_

**Uhh. Hi, Minnie.**

_**Detention. Tomorrow at 7.**_

**It's a date.**

_**Double detention for you, Black. Now please pay attention to our lesson.**_

…

_*What'd I miss?_

Nothing much.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope it wasn't that OOC. (Well, I'm not sure if it <strong>_**can **_**be OOC because we don't even know how they acted back in their time.) Soooo..**

**I'll be doing other generation note passing, like maybe The Golden Trio or Next Gen, so review and BE PREPARED. LOL, alrighty. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, PLEASE!**

**Next, I'm going to do Next Generation (Albus, Rose, and Scorpius.)**

**Tell me what you think about this. RAWR. (Means "I love you" in dinosaur speak, for those of you who didn't know.)**

**-**_**teanotes**_


	2. Grub the Great & Bugawugins

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP! (sadly)**

**Okay, I've decided to post this today, because when I finished this oney, and I was like, Maybe I should post this one today, so I did. I know, that didn't make sense, but does anything make sense?**

**What? Nevermind. Okay, here you go. And don't forget to review so I can continue this series!**

**Oh yeah, here are the characters today. I've always seen these three as best friends, just because they would be the PERFECT Next Generation Trio or something.**

**Albus**

Rose

_Scorpius_

* * *

><p><strong>Rosie, what's the answer to number 37?<strong>

I'm not telling, Al. You promised you'd look for your own answers this year.

**Oh. That was this year?**

_What's this? The venerable Rose Weasley is PASSING NOTES? What has the world come to?_

**Shut up, Scorp. I'm trying to get answers over here.**

_Like she'd tell you._

**It's worth a try.**

You guys are so bad at DISCREETLY passing notes. You were an inch close to hitting Goyle over there. You're lucky we're in Professor Binns class, too.

_Well, it's not my fault Albus over here is playing some kind of paper Quidditch, and failing at it, too._

**Oi, shut up. At least I have an O in Defense Against the Dark Arts.**

_So?_

**So, you just have an E. That means I'm smarter.**

_Wow, mature, Al._

**Wait, WHAT'S THE ANSWER TO NUMBER 37?**

_How should I know? Just put something about a war with goblins. That's basically all we learn in this class._

The answer is 1854, with Grub the Great.

**Heehee. Grub.**

_I repeat: Wow, mature, Al._

**It's not my fault I'm best friends with 15 year olds who have "passed their ages". I have to act immature for ALL of us. And it takes a lot of work sometimes, too.**

No one asked you to do that, Albus. At least we can act our ages occasionally, while you act like a five year old every day.

_OOOhh. That's a low blow._

Shut up.

**Yeah, well at least I didn't cry over a stuffed bear when I was 11.**

BERNADETTE WAS AWESOME. IT WAS YOUR FAULT SNUFFLES CHEWED HER UP BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T WATCH YOUR OWN DOG FOR JUST FIVE MINUTES.

_Oooh. Touchy subject._

SHUT UP, SCORPIUS!

**Whatever. You're just lucky Snuffles left Bugawugins alone.**

I DON'T CARE ABOUT BUGAWUGINS. I bought him at Diagon Alley; Bernadette was given to me from Aunt Muriel when I was two!

**So? Ask her for another one. She's still alive, you know. I have a feeling she's gonna outlive Dumbledore.**

_Hey, while you both are done squabbling (like old ladies, may I add), can I ask if we can go to the muggle movie theaters? I want to watch something and eat popcorn._

**Woah. That's weird. You really want to piss off your grandparents, don't you, Scorp?**

_Meh. That, and I want to try some Whoopers. I like Whoopers._

**Riiiiiight. Well, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go ahead and continue daydreaming now.**

Of what?

**ROOOSIIEEE, you're not supposed to ask men what they daydream about.**

Ew.

**Okay, not like that, Rose. And you call me immature.**

Because you are.

_He's just daydreaming of Quidditch. As always._

**Yeah! Did you know I found an old copy of Quidditch Through the Ages in my dad's trunk? It's so cool because it has all the people who used it sign their name at the front! I saw Oliver Wood's signature!**

Oh my gosh! Your dad didn't give it back to the library?

**Calm down, it's not a crime, Rose.**

_In some countries it is._

**Huh. Uncle Ron did make a joke about doing a lot of illegal things during their Hogwarts years…**

_Like parents, like children._

Shut up.

**Shut up, Scorp.**

_What is it, pick on handsome men day?_

…

Something in the universe tells me you weren't the first person to ask that.

_What?_

Nevermind.

**When is this class over? Binns has been going on and on and on for hours!**

_It's only been 30 minutes._

**Oh.**

_Hey, do you have a dungbomb on you?_

**Yeah. Why?**

Oh, no you don't. As a prefect, I'm taking that away from you. Now.

_Awh. This is why we don't play pranks with you. You're such a killjoy, Weasley._

Oh. Back to last names, are we, Malfoy?

_You're just jealous._

Of what? You don't have anything I want.

**Ha.**

Shut up, Al.

_Of my awesomeness. And, because that girl mistook me for a veela that one time when we went to Honeydukes._

I was MAD because she gave you a bag of candy for free!

_Right. You liiiiiike me.~_

You're such a child. Maybe I should get new friends; mine are stupid and moronic.

_Aw. You're so mean, Rosie._

**Yeah. Rosie is mean.**

I'm sighing right now. Just go back to listening to Binns. I'm too wiped to fight back.

**Ha. It's funny that you think we're gonna just listen to Binns like that.**

I know you will, because if you don't I'll send a letter to your mum telling her that you played a prank on Neville during Herbology. I bet she'd love to hear about that.

_Oh my Merlin. Rose is using blackmail. Maybe we are rubbing off on her, after all._

**Noooo! She'll ground me forever! And it was the first time I did it on Neville, too. Fine, I'll "listen" to Binns.**

Why'd you put quotation marks around listen? Does that mean you'll pretend to do it?

**Whaaat? Nooo. Kbai.**

What?

_I have no idea._

* * *

><p><strong>LOL, My favorite part was when Scorpius asked if it was pick on handsome men day. Just like Sirius. Wow, okay.<strong>

**Well then, I hope you liked this one. I'll continue if this get's popular and gets a lot of reviews.**

**Next on my agenda will probably be either (still Next Gen.) Fred II and James II or Teddy and Victoire. I'm leaning towards Teddy/Victoire.**

**Feel free to review, brethren! Constructive criticism is accepted. (LOL, ~Challenge accepted.)**

**-**_**teanotes**_

**P.S. Review, I beg of you! BEG OF YOU!**


	3. Third Wheels & Unintelligible Blondes

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP. I'm getting tired of posting swanky (LOL) and smart alec disclaimers already.**

**Okay, so I needed an extra person in here, so I used Lucy. J.K. didn't really specify what grade Lucy was, just who her father is (Percy). So, I made it so that these three are all around the same ages. Here, just pretend that 6th and 7th year Griffindors are in the same Charms class. (6th years - Victoire, Lucy | 7th year - Teddy)**

**Okie. Character tiiime!**

_Victoire_

**Teddy**

Lucy

* * *

><p><strong>Hey, do you want to go to Hogsmeade next week with me, Vic?<strong>

_Sure. I don't think I'm doing anything._

OH MY MERLIN, you two are sooo cute.

**Lucy? When did you get here?**

Oh… Um, I've always been here.

_Nah. McGonagall gave her a time turner to get to all the classes._

**What? No fair! I want one!**

No way. You? Teddy Lupin? With a TIME TURNER? That would be an ugly sight.

**Rude.**

_At least I know for a fact that James won't be handed one. That's even worse than Teddy._

Oh, man. I feel so sorry for the Hogwarts staff when Jamsie gets here.

**Yup. He and Fred are gonna be a handful.**

_Not as much as Albus and Rose. They might seem like angels at first, but when those two start plotting, you must be at least 50 feet away. Trust me, I would know. I babysat for them._

Ha. Remember that one time when James and Fred turned your mum's hair blue?

_Oh, man. She had a fit._

**Yeah, James kept telling her it matched her old uniform from Beauxbatons. That was a Christmas holiday to remember.**

Oh, yeah, why didn't you go there again, Victoire?

_Right. I remember mum and dad arguing about that a while back when I was 10. Dad won at the end, of course. He was always the only one who could talk sense into mum._

**Well, I'm glad you picked here.**

_Me too._

Aw, you two! I just want to shrink you and hug you and pack you up!

**Please don't.**

_Merlin. It's so stuffy in here. Can't Flitwick use a cooling charm or something?_

Or an air conditioner.

_A what?_

You don't pay attention in Muggle Studies, do you?

**No, who does?**

I do.

**I don't think that counts.**

Rude!

**I know, we're all rude today. I wonder what our problem is.**

_Probably the heat. For some time in February, it's really hot._

Really? "Some time in February"? You don't even know the date? You know, I'm starting to think of a stereotype.

_Oh? And what would that be?_

That all blondes are du

_Don't finish writing that sentence or I'll hex you to next Tuesday._

**Why Tuesday?**

_What?_

**Why did you pick Tuesday out of all the days of the week?**

_I dunno. It was the first day I thought of._

Yeah, Ted. Don't force the blond to think any more than she has to.

_I will kill you while you sleep._

**And that is the scariest way to die.**

No it isn't. I think death by pixies is.

**Really? Nah. I think death by Peeves is the scariest. Have you seen him when he gets mad? I still have nightmares.**

_Only you, Teddy, would be able to piss off a prank-obsessed poltergeist._

He just has the ability to make people angry. Maybe he's just not a loveable person.

_Yeah. I hated him when he made fun of me when we were little. His nose flares when he's scared, too. That's a bit strange._

**Um, hello? I'm still here, you know.**

_Oh, we know._

Oh, stop pouting. You're 17 years old; not six.

_Aw, Teddy-Bear. You're cute when you do that._

…

Umm… Teddy? Victoire? We're in class… Yeah, well for your information, piece of paper, they're snogging right now. During the middle of Charms class.

Yeah… It's awkward being the third wheel. I guess I'm gonna go break them up now, before they get detention for excess PDA. So, bye, I guess.

* * *

><p><strong>Meh. It wasn't that long. <strong>

**Haha, I love Teddy and Victoire. Poor Lucy, being the third wheel.**

**For some strange reason when I was writing this, I imagined Teddy and Victoire being Percy and Annabeth from Percy Jackson. Weird, no? That's probably why I made their characters similar-ish when I wrote this. (and also the blonde comment, muahahahah, but no, don't get mad at me for that comment. Annabeth, remember?)**

**Next on Passing Notes (LOOL, like a TV show), it will probably be still next Gen or Marauders again (Lily and Alice and Frank). I feel like doing the Golden Trio later on or something.**

**Hi. Please Review and I shall continue. That rhymed. Bye.**

**-teanotes**


	4. Coffee Threats & Tossing Love Notes

**Disclaimer: YO NO TENGO HARRY POTTER. Yay, I spoke spanish. I said I don't own Harry Potter! (Or it said I don't have Harry Potter, it can go either way, really.)**

_Wow. These are coming out pretty fast, to be honest. After the next chapter (after this one) I'm not sure If I'll continue. If I get more reviews, I just might._

**I'll give you a million virtual sponge cakes and chocolate per review! (Virtual packages may get lost during virtual shipping.)**

**Characters:**

Lily

_Alice_

**Frank**

* * *

><p><em>Ugh. I'm so bored. Who knew Charms could be so utterly boring? I mean, it was fun the first 3 years, but now I'm dying with boredom.<em>

Right. I need coffee.

_Oh, you mean that muggle caffeinated drink?_

Yup. I. Need. Coffee. Now. Or else I will Siriusly fall asleep.

_Oh my Merlin, Lils, did you just make a Sirius pun?_

Oh gosh, I did. Help me, Alice!

_Ok, ok. Calm down._

Curse it. Can you tell those idiotic Marauders to shut up? My head hurts and I need coffee.

_Alright, but don't get mad at me when they direct their attention to you, Lily-Flower._

Grr. Did you pick that up from Potter and Black?

_Yes, and you can call them by their first names, you know. You've known each other for seven years._

I can't. If I call James, James, then I'll lose.

_I didn't know you were playing a game._

No, I'll lose, as in he'll never let me live it down.

_I'm sighing right now. I wish you two would just buck up and confess your feelings already._

Excuse me? I DO NOT LIKE THAT DOOFUS.

_… Doofus? Really?_

It's the lack of sleep plus boredom.

**Hello, ladies.**

Frank.

_Hey, Frank._

Frank, can you conjure up coffee?

**Coffee? That muggle caffeinated drink?**

Yes. Is it really so hard to pay attention during Muggle Studies?

_Yes._

**Yup.**

My head. It hurts.

**Why?**

Because I'm surrounded by a bunch of purebloods that don't pay attention in class and it makes my brain hurt trying to cope with lower levels of the mind.

**Merlin, you're mean when you're thirsty.**

Sorry.

**It's alright.**

_Oohhh, we really need to go shopping over Spring break, Lils!_

Right. Shopping.

_What's wrong?_

**Let me answer for her. Shopping plus Alice plus Lily equals excruciating head ache. Did I get that right?**

Si, seńor.

_We're speaking French now?_

**That's Spanish, Alice.**

_Oh._

Not the shiniest spoon in the drawer, are we, Ali?

_Huh? Wait, did you just insult me?_

I don't know what you're talking about.

_Yeah, you did. You just called me dumb!_

**Alice, don't overreact. Lily just said you weren't shiny.**

_What? I'm shiny! And I'm not a utensil!_

I never called you a utensil!

_No, it was implied!_

**Girls, not now. I think Professor Flitwick glanced at our direction.**

SHUT UP, FRANK!

**Ok, you two are mean. I'm leaving.**

_See what you did? You shooed away my boyfriend!_

Well, it's not my fault he was annoying!

_No, it's your fault for shooing him away!_

Well, excuse me.

_No! Don't excuse yourself, you big meanie! I'm not done with you yet!_

… Meanie?

_Ok, you can stop laughing now… LILY!_

Meanie? That's the best insult you can come up with? No wonder everyone pegged you as "nicest person in the class".

_How rude! Who did that?_

I dunno. It was in the yearbook from last year.

_Great. Now I'll forever be the nice girl. I don't want to be known as the nice girl, Lily!_

Well, at least you're not the "goody two-shoes". I'd bet a 1000 galleons that Potter and his lackeys paid the yearbook staff to write that.

_At least we can be the nice girl and goody two-shoes together._

Right.

_I love your enthusiasm, Lily._

…

_Why did Potter throw a piece of paper at you? Is it a note? Oh my gosh, it is!_

… Shut up, Alice.

_Oh my Merlin, did he ask you out? He did, didn't he? I could tell because you're blushing!_

Alice, calm down. He just asked me out to Hogsmeade again, is all.

_Yes, and aren't you going to reply?_

What? I don't need to! He knows my answer is no! It always has been!

_I know you want to say yes._

No I don't.

_Yes, you do._

I won't have this fight with you, Alice!

_Well, just do it! Or I'll do it for you._

No! Alice! Give it back!

…

_Teehee._

I hate you.

_No, you love me. Look! Now this piece of paper is misinformed! Dear Mr Paper, I just replied to Potter saying Lily would go with him to Hogsmeade!_

You're weird.

_But you love me. (Maybe even as much as Jaaaames.)_

…

_Hey, answer back!_

_Fine, be like that. You're still going, and you're going to have fun._

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, not my best chapter. Oh, well. I didn't really know how I imagined Frank to act, but that's pretty much how I did. Awww, I love JxL. *insert cooing here*<strong>

**And Alice? Oh, I just made her a REALLY girly Neville. Like, she's nice? Well, like I said in the previous chappies, most of these characters were only mentioned or shown briefly in the books; so, I just basically threw in together what I thought their personalities might be like.**

**Anyways, I'm working on the Golden Trio notes now. **

**Review, please!**

**-_TN_**

**P.S. There's a bug down there *points downward*. It's a rare kind of bug, shaped oddly like a Review button. Help me defeat the bug and smush it with your arrow!**

**There's the bug. Go, arrow, go!**

**V**


	5. Definition of Retainers & Brooders

**Disclaimer: Go look at the previous chapters.**

**This short "series" is actually pretty quick to prepare. Well, for me, that is. And I know that posting these up really quickly won't get me a lot of reviews, but honestly, I really want to quicken my pace when I write. So, I finished this a while back (the second day I posted this story, can you believe it?) and now I'm posting it.**

**This takes place during their 6th year, before Won-Won and Lav-Lav broke up. So Hermione is jelly! Muwahahahah! I totally support all canon couples in HP, so don't worry peoples.**

**Anyway, here are the valiant heroes that defeated the Dark Lord. Also known as the infamous Golden Trio.**

Harry (is normal, well, normal-er than usual.)

**Ron **(is bold, loool)

_Hermione_ (is italic... yeah, I can't come up with a joke for that.)

* * *

><p><strong>How do you use a relainer?<strong>

I have a feeling you mean a retainer, Ron.

**Yeah, that.**

Well, I know it has something to do with the teeth. You get it from the orthodontist. After braces, I think. Ask Hermione; her parents are dentists.

**Alright, I don't know half of the words you just said but I will ask Hermione too.**

…

_Ronald! You didn't need to smack the note at my head!_

**Sorry.**

_Now what do you want?_

**Yeesh. No need to be so demanding.**

She's just angry that you're spending all your time sucking Lavender's face instead of studying.

_HARRY! That is SO not why!_

Then why are you blushing redder than Ron's head?

**Hey! Wait, so it's true?**

_What! No! Never mind. What was your original question, Ron?_

**How and why do you use a relainer?**

Retainer.

**Yeah, that.**

_Well, obviously it's a fixed or removable device worn in the mouth to hold the teeth in their new position during the adaptive period after straightening appliances have been extracted._

**… What?**

_… IT'S A THING THAT KEEPS TEETH IN HOLD AFTER TOOTH TREATMENT._

**Oh. Thanks, Hermione. But, you didn't need to write so vigorously.**

Vigorously? You know what that means?

**Shut up, Harry.**

_You should listen to Professor Burbage; she taught the concept of dentists last week._

Do you honestly think he listened?

**SHUT UP, HARRY!**

But, I'm not even talking. I'm writing. Completely different.

**Touché.**

You know what that means?

**HARRY WOULD YOU JUST BUTT OUT!**

If you were a girl, I would think you were on your monthly.

**Monthly? I'm not a werewolf.**

_Oh dear Merlin._

Ask Hermione.

_No! Don't ask Hermione!_

**Why not?**

_It's awkward._

**Really?**

_Yes, very._

**Oh.**

_Yeah._

Yup.

**Oh, go brood in your corner.**

What? I don't BROOD. Do I?

**Yes, Harry, you do.**

_Sorry to say it Harry, but you kind of do._

**And always with a tweensy bit of angst, too.**

I am not angsty.

**Yeah, you are. You're a broody, angst-ridden teenager.**

_Plus you're pessimistic. I'm sorry Harry, someone had to say it._

Great.

**And sarcastic.**

Wait, so I'm a broody, sarcastic, pessimistic, broody, angst-ridden teenager?

**Pretty much.**

_Oh! And you're a stalker!_

Excuse me? Since when did I sta

_Draco Malfoy. Marauder's Map._

**The SUPPOSED Death Eater.**

But I'm telling you, he is!

**Right. And I have a pet spider named Cotton and hug it every day.**

_That's a scary thought._

I have mean friends. They gang up on me all the time.

**Hey, when you become friends with a broody, sarcastic, pessimistic, broody, angst-ridden teenager who, on top of all of that, attracts as much trouble as an ant to a picnic, you'll understand our situation.**

That makes me feel so much better. Push me off a cliff, why don't you?

_Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit._

Yet you use it all the time.

_I would say "touché" but we're not fencing._

**Fencing? Why would we need a fence?**

_It's a sport._

**Like Quidditch?**

No, like sword-fighting.

**Cool.**

_That's not the point!_

Oooh. Bad pun, Hermione.

_Oh shut up, Harry, Professor Burbage is coming this way._

…

Oh man, that was so funny.

**No, getting electrickuted**

_Electrocuted._

**Yeah, that. Getting electrocuted by a plug socket thingy was not fun.**

It was fun for us.

**Why would she demonstrate something like that during class?**

Umm… Maybe because it was our lesson? Merlin, sometimes you can be as oblivious as Luna sometimes. And that says a lot, considering she believes in mythical creatures.

**And you say I'm mean.**

_Only when you're mad, you are. Your anger clouds your judgment._

**Yeah right. Like when?**

_Most of 3rd year. Like the broomstick and Scabbers, or should I say_

Don't write his name. I might set the parchment on fire.

_Right. Maybe we should add "scary" to Harry's growing list of adjectives._

I am not scary.

**I just snorted right now, Harry.**

_You are, too, scary. Like, REALLY scary. Ask any of our classmates._

**Yeah.**

Well, then. Since I'm SO scary, I'm not speaking to you lot anymore. I'll just go ahead and BROOD like you expect me to.

**We're not technically speaking to you, mate. We're writing NOTES.**

**… He's not going to answer back anymore, is he?**

_I have a feeling he won't._

**Blast.**

_Blast? Who says "blast" anymore, Ronald?_

**My dad.**

…

_Well, that explains a lot._

**Huh?**

_Never mind. You are a bit boring, Ron. I'm going to study now._

**Study? For what?**

_The Thursday pop Potions quiz for Professor Slughorn._

**There's a Thursday pop Potions quiz? If it's always on Thursday, why does it still have the "pop" part in it?**

_… I don't know._

**GASP, Hermione doesn't know something?**

_Please stop writing, Ron. I'm going to study now. We haven't been paying attention to Professor Burbage for the whole period!_

**Alright, then. See you at Potions.**

_See you._

* * *

><p><strong>This was actually a bit longer than the usual ones. I wanted to make it longer than those because, well, THEY'RE THE FREAKING GOLDEN TRIO! They MUST be important.<strong>

**Heehee, my favorite line was, "**Hey, when you become friends with a broody, sarcastic, pessimistic, broody, angst-ridden teenager who, on top of all of that, attracts as much trouble as an ant to a picnic, you'll understand our situation.**" Yeah. That made me crack up a bit. Is that sad? Laughing at your own joke? Never mind.**

**Attention, soldiers! Please attack our enemy in an orderly an grammatically correct way! When I say go, pulverize our enemy right now who is cleverly disguised as a Review link! Alright? Ready... GO!**

**-_TN_**

**_P.S. Read my A/N after this._**


	6. Brooders in the Family & Namesakes

**Disclaimer: If I owned HP, I wouldn't be sharing a room with my other two siblings in an apartment.**

_**Good news! I'm officially out of my hiatus, which by the way, wasn't even a real hiatus. (I know, that was really quick.) But, I have come up with some random ideas that I hope you'll like!**_

**So, review so I know if it's alright or not!**

**Because I like these three so much, here's a Part 2 to Albus, Scorpius, and Rose! (This is taking place in their 5th year, just like Part 1.)**

**Albus**

Rose

_Scorpius_

* * *

><p><em>I'm bored.<em>

Do you think I care?

_I know you do. Deep down in that dark abyss you'll find a warm, loving heart._

**I burst out laughing when I read that. **

Al?

**Yes?**

Shut up.

**Okay.**

_I wonder how he got named after the greatest wizard in centuries._

Well, one thing I know for sure: Uncle Harry is definitely NOT a seer.

**No, but he's a Basilisk slayer, a used-to-be 15 year old defense teacher, werewolf tamer, Tri-wizard tournament champion, horcrux hunter, the Boy-Who-Defeated-The-Dark Lord, the Chosen One, the Saviour of the Wizarding World, the only one in the entire world who survived the killing curse TWICE, and a wicked seeker. **

And he's a darn good brooder.

**Where'd you hear that from?**

My mum and dad; they told me he was a real 'emo kid' back in those days. Weird. You'd never think that now, when he wears the Weasley jumper with the smiley face at the back and cooks early morning breakfast for all of us.

_At least those achievements never got to his head. He's the most modest person I've ever met!_

Yeah, his ego skipped him but didn't skip his children.

**Hey! James has the biggest ego! And**

And you got the brooding part.

**What? Did not!**

Right. Just like when you first entered Hogwarts. 'What? You can only try out for Quidditch until second year?' You should have seen your face, Mr Brooder Junior.

**I do not!**

Do too.

**Not!**

Too!

**Not!**

_Are you seriously going to fight via writing?_

**You're right, Scorp.**

He is?

_I am? _

**Yeah, come on, Rose. A one on one.**

_No way, Al. Last time you both did that, we ALL got detention from Professor Longbottom._

**Oh, okay then, unless you're SCARED, Rosie.**

Oh Merlin, how OLD are you, Albus?

_He is definitely not his namesake_.

**Shut up, Scorp! Not helping!**

_How can I help in this matter, anyway? A mad Rose is really scary._

**So you admit you like her!**

What?

_WHAT? THAT DIDN'T EVEN MAKE ANY FREAKING SENSE, ALBUS!_

Yeeeees, you just don't want to oppose her. That basically means you don't want to fight her because you liiiiiiiiiiiiiiike her.

_Where did you learn the word 'oppose'?_

**No changing the subject, knave!**

_Knave? Seriously?_

**Siriusly.**

You made Scorpius face palm.

_I. Don't. Like. Rose._

You don't like me?

_I do! But not in a like LIKE way, just a like like way, y'know? _

No, I don't know.

**Muwahaha!**

_Rose, can you slap him for me? I'm too busy face palming. _

…

**Gosh darn it, woman! That hurt!**

Don't worry, I bet it only took away a few brain cells. You didn't have much in the first place, either.

**RUDE.**

No seriously, you got a TON of A's. The only O you got was in DADA which, in my opinion, isn't fair because you have the best teacher in the whole Wizarding World, aka your father.

**Ha, yeah.**

_Wait a second, if your dad defeated the most dangerous and powerful wizard in the century, shouldn't he take on the role of most dangerous and powerful wizard in the century?_

… **I never thought of it like that.**

Great, now you've given Al a bigger ego.

**Hey! Whatever. You know, that's probably why the lady working at the Three Broomsticks nearly fainted when he entered with me and Lily.**

No, I think that's just because he's kinda good-looking for an old guy.

**Ew.**

_I know, I think I found an old Witches Weekly in my mum's closet from 18 years ago saying he was 'the Chosen one of the week for the Wizarding World's most eligible wizard'. _

**Merlin, I think I'm going to puke.**

Don't. I'm sitting in front of you.

**Can we stop talking about my dad now? I kind of have to see him all the time at home.**

_Right, it is getting a tad awkward._

**Okay, I want to eat! When is Professor McGonagall going to be done?**

When she wants to be.

_Wow._

Merlin, turn around, she's coming this way!

**Merlin? My name's Albus.**

…

_Ha! You got detention for passing notes!_

**Scorp, you don't know when to keep your trap shut, do you?**

_Mmmm, no._

Lovely. Alright, I'm going to go take notes, now, like we should have been doing in the FIRST PLACE.

**Really? **

Really.

**Good for you, Rosie.**

And no, you may not copy off me.

Stop pouting, Albus.

_Okay, cousins_

**You're not our cousin.**

_Rude. Alright, my friends, I will go too._

**Whatever. **

Whatever?

**Whatever.**

_I have no idea._

That isn't the first time.

_Rude._

**Whatever.**

* * *

><p><strong>I am a bit disappointed when I ended the story. Whatever. I hope you like!~<strong>

**So, next, I'm working on The Silver Trio, who are Neville, Ginny, and Luna. **

**Review, folks! After the Silver Trio, who do you all think I should do? (Anyone is fine, as long as they at least have three people in the group.)**

**Love from _teanotes_.**

**REVIEW PLZ OR ELZ I WEEL TLK LYK DIS 4 ALL DE REZT OF DE CHAPTURZ. LOL JK. BUT SERIOUSLY. ****Review.**

**V**


	7. Distracting Bogies & Mauve Robes

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I wouldn't be here on fanfiction. Duh. Use your heads.**

**Heehee. Here's another collection of notes passed by none other than the Silver Trio! This Trio consists of Ginny, Neville, and Luna during the Deathly Hallows when Harry and the gang (lol) were out horcrux hunting.**

**Here are the Silver Trio!**

Ginny

**Neville**

_Luna_

* * *

><p>Merlin, did you see Carrow's bogie? It's huge.<p>

**Not now, Ginny, we might get caught. I still have bruises from last time.**

Sorry, but I can't help it. It's so big. It's distracting. I just want to strut up there and tell her to pick her nose.

**Please don't. And since when did you strut?**

What? I can strut if I want to.

**Sure.**

I can!

_You can what?_

Oh, hi, Luna. I can strut.

_Like Draco Malfoy?_

…

**Merlin, Ginny! Carrow almost caught you! Try not to laugh out loud anymore.**

Well, sorry. My mind was filled with pictures of Draco Malfoy STRUTTING. Ha.

_Have you heard news from your brother yet?_

No, but, I swear, the next time I see them, I will STRUT, yes, I said strut, up to Harry and slap him senselessly.

_Or snog him senselessly._

**Ew, TMI.**

Excuse me?

**TMI means 'too much information'. I found that it's easier to say things when they're abbreviated. **

Neville, that's beyond weird.

_Not as weird as the bogie hanging out from Carrow's nose._

See, Neville? Luna sees it, too!

**Well, at least she didn't say she'd STRUT.**

Seriously?

**I miss Professor Burbage. She was always so nice. All we're learning in Muggle Studies now is how to hunt them down and kill them.**

_It is very unpleasant._

Unpleasant indeed. I don't think Carrow even knows what a drill is.

**I don't think Carrow even knows what a book is.**

You're too right.

_I believe Carrow has a bunch of nargles in her head, that's why her brain is fuzzy._

**Okay, ew. I just had an image of a brain that has hair on it.**

_Like the story The Warlock's Hairy Heart?_

Ewh.

**Wait, why did you add the 'h' onto 'Ew'?**

I wanted to. It made my 'ew' sound more sophisticated.

**Do sophisticated people even say 'ew'?**

I don't know; I live in a burrow.

**What does that have to do with anything?**

Sophisticated people don't live in burrows.

_Crumple-Horned Snoracks do._

That's nice, Lu.

**Oh, hey! That rhymed! **

No, we're not playing that game again.

**Oh, yeah. I remember when you rhymed those cuss words. I didn't even know there were words that rhymed with that.**

I didn't either.

**Why are we taking this class again?**

Because it's required.

_And if we don't, we'll get punished._

We have such a pleasant staff here at Hogwarts.

**I miss Professor Dumbledore.**

_Yeah, and his really long white beard and sparkly purple robes. Though, that tended to attract the kneazles._

**Purple? He had purple? I always thought that was a more reddish shade of mauve.**

I don't think I even met a boy who knew the word 'mauve'. How in Merlin's name do you know the color mauve?

**My Gran.**

That explains everything.

**No need to be sarcastic. My Gran made me help her pick out her taste in clothing, so I just picked random stuff off the racks. She told me to look for mauve colors.**

That's… sweet. I think.

_I'm happy. Would you like to know why?_

**Why?**

Why?

_Because Daddy said he found a horn of a Crumple-Horned Snorack. I hope he didn't get it mixed up with an Erumpent horn._

**Uuh, Lu, isn't an Erumpent horn highly explosive?**

_Possibly._

**Possibly?**

Well, that's kid-friendly.

**Very.**

…

_When do you think all of this is going to be over?_

All of wha

Oh.

_Yes._

Soon, Luna, really soon. All we can do to help here is to keep up the D.A. and have faith.

**If this was a normal circumstance, I would point out that you sound like a muggle preacher, but in this case, I think you're right, Ginny.**

Shut up.

**Are you tearing up, Ginny?**

…

**I miss them, too.**

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, I understand that this is short, but you've got to understand that this is during the time where they had Snapey-poo as headmaster. Of course school sucked; no ones getting the correct lessons on proper hygiene!<strong>

**Aw, the last part was weepy. *tears* MY CREYEZ! Haha, sorry. Tumblr moment.**

**Waaaaaaaait! I'm not too sure if the girl Carrow was supposed to be the teacher for Muggle Studies or something, so pardon me if I'm wrong. Feel free to correct me.**

**Hi! You guys can go request whoever you think deserves to be included in this series, just as long as they're a group of 3 or more. Review down there and write whatever!**

**If you review, I will give you a million $ signs if you review. LOL, see what I did there? Never mind. Just Review.**

**Review. Now. I know where you live. (You live on earth. Ha!)**

**V**


	8. Being Chocolate Wasted & Talking Spanish

**Disclaimer: It's Remialcsid backwards. Pronounce it like "remialacid". Yes, ACID. I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER.**

**Okay, here's one with James and Fred II. **

… **I AM SO SORRY, but I just HAD to add Albus into this. Because I wuuuv him. So, cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over the fact that Albus had had more chapters than anyone else, ha. **

**Albus**

James

Fred II

_**Nameless DADA teacher**_(I decided to not make an OC for Next Gen. I hate OCs. Shudder.) (And my bad, thanks to one of my reviewers who pointed out that the teacher's handwriting was supposed to be italicized and bold!)

* * *

><p><span>You are under candy-arrest, sir Muffytums.<span>

OKIEEEEEDOKIEEE, CARAMELLL.

… **You both are hyper, aren't you?**

HYPER? HYPEEEEEEEEEEEER?

Yes, you are.

Yo tengo la camisa negra~! (A/N: Do you guys know this song? We played it in my Spanish class today. :3)

Uhh, your shirt is black? Well, duh. We DO have a uniform, you know. Or are you just doing this to piss me off? I HATE THE CANADIAN MEXICAN LANGUAGE.

**James, that was Spanish. What are you guys ON?**

… CHOCOLATE FROGGIEEES.

Oh, hey; I think I got your dad again, James.

LEMME SEE.

… What does "vanquish" mean? It said he "vanquished the Dark Lord of the century".

**Oh my Merlin. You ARE in 6****th**** year, aren't you? -_- It means to destroy, defeat, kill, etcetera. **

Waiiit. What are you even doing in this class, Al? I thought it was all 6th years? And if you're here, where's Rosie-poo?

**Okay, one, I was transferred to this class because I excelled at DADA, and two, "Rosie-poo" will kill you for calling her that.**

Wowowowowwoah, wait.

**What now, James?**

Why do you get to call Rose "Rosie" and she won't get mad?

**Because, Rose likes me and she DOES in fact get mad when I call her that. Well, more at Scorpius than me, but that's just because she likes him.**

Hmm…

Stop stroking your non-existent beard.

Only if you stop talking to your IMAGINARY friend, Copperfield.

**Copperfield? Seriously, Fred?**

SHUTTUP. YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND OUR COMPLEX AND INTENSE RELATIONSHIP!

**Lemme guess, this "Copperfield" is your super ninja ultra spy who kills enemies with his shuriken, and you give him cookies.**

OATMEAL cookies.

**Riiiiight.**

Yeah.

**Mhm.**

Peanut butter.

Is.

Good.

Cyclops? (A/N: Sorry, just had to put that. TYSON! Review if you know where that's from.)

**Okay, I need to get out of here; you guys are infecting my mind with viruses that kill brain cells.**

Huh?

**It MEANS; when I'm with you guys, I get 100x dumber.**

Riight, while you're at it, give me a donut, will you?

**How stupid can you get?**

How mean can you get?

As much as I'd LOVE to hear you to have a bromance moment, I'd rather listen to Professor Whatshisname.

Seriously?

Seriously.

**Wait, what IS this bloke's name? **

I dunno. I guess everyone didn't really care the name of the poor bloke because he'll just be fired or injured at the end of the year.

Wait, I thought that the curse was lifted years ago?

Oh, it was. I guess ol' Minnie just wanted to keep on the tradition!

**OR, it's just a coincidence that McGonagall fires the DADA teacher every year.**

There is no such thing as coincidence; only inevitability.

OMYMERLIN, who are you?

This is no longer Fred Weasley's body. This is Moaning Myrtle.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I GOT TO HIDE! SHE HAS A CRUSH ON ME AND AL, YOU KNOW. IT'S DISCUSTING!

Hahaha, I think that she had it in for your dad, too.

**Ugh, I think I'm going to barf.**

She once told me that I was free to share her toilet with her if I died early. EEEEEW.

That's so not right in so many ways, mate.

**Can we not talk about the creepy crush Myrtle has on the Potter boys, now?**

Ooooh, Myrtle. On a first name basis, are we now?

**Shut up before I hex you. Remember who's on top of the Defense Against the Dark Arts in 5****th**** year. It starts with an Albus and ends with a Potter. REMEMBER.**

Scary.

Quite.

**I need Kleenex.**

Bless you.

**No, Kleenex! The muggle tissue paper!**

How do you know that?

**I know people.**

That is a shocker.

**Whatever. Now, what are you two up to?**

Two and to sound the same.

Are you still wasted on chocolate frogs?

I WANNA BE CHOCOLATE WASTED!

I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS!

I WANNA BE … LOOOOVED!

**Did you two just make muggle references?**

Yes, indeed we did.

I want grilled cheese. MAKE TIME GO FASTER, ALLY.

**NEVER CALL ME THAT EVER AGAIN.**

OK. Ally.

…

Woah, no need to choke anybody, Al.

Bloody Hee-**LANGUAGE**-eeyull, Al. You've got quite a grip. Where'd Al learn to do that?

Search me.

I like peanut colladas!

**I can feel my IQ lowering the longer I hang out with you lot.**

Pssssh. Fine, then go away. We don't need you in our group.

Yeaaah. Leave.

**I couldn't've said anything better. Adios.**

ADIOS, MI PRIMO. SIMPATICO HABLA A TU! (A/N: Sorry if that doesn't make sense to those Spanish-speaking people out there; I have an average in that class :O)

Okay, Al was right on that part, mate. You are wasted on chcocolate.

LOOKIE, TEACHER! KAIIIIBAIII.

… Teacher? Wait, what?

_**Detention, Mr Potter.**_

…

Git.

HAHAHAHA. I want popcorn.

* * *

><p><strong>Curse me! It's soooooooooooooooooooooo short. Sue me. Yeah, I really mea- OKAY, JUST KIDDING, DON'T NEEDA PULL OUT THE BIG GUNS. *dusts off shoulder* Honestly, people these days.<strong>

**I should have one of those sticky name tags that says, "Hi my name is I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN A WHILE". Really, I don't know WHAT got into me this week. Humph. Probably my poopoo homework.**

**Haha, I was doing Spanish homework when I was working on this, so this is the outcome. My spanish is rusty. VERY rusty.**

**Anyways, you guys can review below suggesting which group of Hogwartians (that's what they're called, right?) should pass notes as well. I'm not entirely sure about the idea of the teachers (McGonagall, Flitwick, etc.) writing notes to each other, because when would they be able to do it? They have classes. And, telling me to make them write in a notebook that magically connects with one another is kind of a rip-off idea from alittleinsane963's story, _The Professors' Point of View_ (which is really funny, too. Go read it!).**

**Alright, sorry for the long A/N. REVIEW PLEAASE!**

**_-teanotes_**

_**To whoever it may concern,**_

_**REVIEW, BEEYAATCH.**_

_**Thank you.**_

_**From, an angry wannabe-writer.**_


	9. Banging Heads on Tables & Skipping Class

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter!**

**Hi. Yay! I updated again! Well, I have to apologize for the previous chapter; that was stupid. No, like, it seriously (Siriusly?) was.**

** I decided to do a chapter for the Slytherins, they deserve more credit, am I right?**

**Review to encourage me to actually finish this series!**

**People who deserve more credit in this series:**

Daphne

**Draco**

Pansy

_Astoria_

* * *

><p><strong>Oi! Greengrass!<strong>

You know, saying, "Oi! Greengrass!" isn't the best way to catch a lady's attention. What do you want, Malfoy?

**I'm rolling my eyes. Anyway, I didn't know you had a sister.**

I didn't know you cared. Why DO you care? Are you going to hex her or something Slytherin-like? I mean, she used my dress robes last week; feel free to.

**No it's jus**

OR are you going to ask her out? THAT IS SO CUTE!

**No! It's not that!**

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

**Huh?**

You like my sister, Astoria, don't you?

**Bloody h*ll, of course, not! She's a 3****rd**** year and I'm a 5****th****. I don't care for younger parties.**

Yeah, he cares about meeeeeeee!

… **PANSY CAN YOU PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONCE?**

Wait, so you were reading every note we passed? Define creepy, Pans.

Buuut, Drakkyy!

**Never. Call. Me. That. Again.**

I just saw the "call me that again" on that parchment. Okay, then, Draky!

**Oh Merlin.**

… Malfoy, stop banging your head on the table. Yes, I mean it; you'll get a bruise bigger than Goyle's head if you keep doing that.

**I hate my life. At least that Umb*tch gave Pothead detention today. Yeah, it made my day.**

Stop cussing, Draco! I don't want our children to pick up on any bad language!

… Pansy, listen, you're

**I DON'T HAVE CHILDREN, AND DEFINETLY WON'T HAVE ANY WITH YOU!**

… Oh. Okay.

Draco Malfoy! That was so rude! Now she's moping! Do you know what would happen then?

**Uhh, me having a Pansy-free afternoon?**

NO! She's going to moan and mumble and rant about how you don't like her for hours and hours… TO ME! Can't you IMAGINE how I feel? IT'S GOING TO BE TORTURE! YOU UNGRATEFUL GIT.

**Woow. Is someone PMSing?**

… **OW! Why'd you bonk me over the head for?**

NEVER ask a girl if they're PMSing ONLY when they're in a bad mood. That just equals double pain for you, Malfoy.

**D*mn, you ARE scary, Greengrass!**

NO CUSSING, DRAKY!

Aaaand, she's back.

Yes, I decided to forgive you, Draky. Husband and wives must learn to cope with each other.

…

DRAKY! Stop banging your head on your table!

Seriously, Malfoy, Flitwick might see you.

**Whatever. He's a midget, anyway. Ow, this hurts.**

Don't touch your bruise! It might get bigger!

**If it weren't for my Malfoy manners, I would've hexed you right now, Pansy.**

Oh, Salazaar, I just snorted.

**Shut up, Greengrass. What kind of name is that?**

Oh, shut up, Malfoy. What kind of name is that?

**Touché. **

What's tooshie?

**Merlin.**

Merlin is tooshie?

Just forget about it, Pans.

Ohkaay.

Hold up; Umbridge is coming to "inspect" Flitty's class.

…

I really don't like Umbridge.

**Why not?**

I mean, yeah, it's fun to watch the Griffindorks get knocked down a notch from their pedestal once in a while, but she's kind of a beeeyatch.

Totally. And I know the meaning of beeeyatch; I should know.

**Yes, you should!**

DRACO!

No, it's okay, Daphne. I understand that fighting is a sign that we're becoming closer.

**Ughhh, gross.**

… **Wait a sec, is that ASTORIA crawling under those tables?**

IT IS! Let her sit next to us. I'm sure Flitwick won't see her.

ASTORIA GREENGRASS! What on EARTH are you doing here? You better not be skipping class! Oh, Merlin, you ARE skiving, aren't you? I KNEW this day would come! Listen, Tori, there comes a time in a young lady's life when

_EEEWW. Daphne, are you giving me "The Talk"?_

I think she is.

_Ew. Anyway, that's not why I'm here. _

Then why are you?

_We, meaning the 3__rd__ year Slytherins, actually had a free period because Professor McGonagall had a problem with some kid that got transformed into a pillow, so she let us off for the rest of the period._

Then what are you doing here?

_Let me finish! Anyways, I was walking down the hallway when I saw some Griffindors fighting_

As they always do.

_Let me finish, for Merlin's sake! Okay, so the two who were fighting was some fourth years, Colin Creepy_

Creevy.

_Whatever. And Romilda Vane._

Ugh, that Vane? The one who is a downright Griffindor sl*t?

Language, Pansy!

_Yeah, her. So, they were fighting because Creevy wanted to have a model to help him with a project for his photographs, and of course, Vane volunteered herself. Colin began bickering to her that she's not the right shade or something_

Shade?

_I don't know. So, they BOTH started fighting and then Creevy spots me walking and says, "See? THAT is what a real model looks like!"_

**HE DID WHAT?**

_I don't think it was meant to be an inappropriate thing, it was probably just because he wanted to get rid of Vane._

Then what?

_Oh, yeah. Then she glared at me and started trying to curse me then sent her crazy goons to chase after me._

WHAAAAAAT? I'LL KILL HER!

_Nah, I got it down. I probably lost them already after coming into this class._

Okay, then. After that invigorating story, can we please just keep peace?

Okay! Byeee!

**Whatever.**

_You sound so emo, Malfoy._

**What's it to you, Greengrass?**

_Nothing._

AWWW. You two should totally get married.

… What are the chances that BOTH of them are banging their heads on the table?

* * *

><p><strong>I apologize for Draco's constant (viligance! no.) cussing. It just seems like something he'd do. <strong>

**OKay, sorry to all you Draco X Someone else shippers, but I just love the idea of Astoria and Draco together! And, I just imagine Pansy to be a clingy fangirl. Also, Romilda is going down! Colin is epically epic! Just saying.**

**How did you like that? REVIEW, Pleeeeez. **

**Who should I do next?**

**I love you. **

**_-teanotes_.**

** P.S. I will find you if you don't review. Expect a teenage girl wielding a club at your door sooner or later.**


	10. Pickup Lines & Awkward Moments

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor the pick-up lines that follow.**

**I tried to pick out the least dirty Harry Potter jokes (which was kind of difficult, depending on how you look at it) when I searched for them. Some fans have not very pleasant thoughts. ;)**

Lily

James

**Sirius**

* * *

><p><strong>I am hungry.<strong>

Hi, Hungry. I am Thirsty.

**Intriguing.**

Indeed.

Do I need to bring in a Calming Draught?

**Silly Lily, you don't know WHAT you're talking about.**

And you do?

Indeed.

STOP SAYING 'INDEED'.

**Temper, temper, Lilykins.**

Wait, what am I even doing here, passing notes to you gits?

**Because you luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurve us.**

Indee

Don't. Say. Indeed.

Hmm… Indeed.

OW, LILY! That hurt!

No need to stick out your tongue, James.

**Ooooooooh. You both are on first name basis now, hmmmm?**

Shut up, Sirius.

**No, but Regulusly, I'm hungry.**

Regulusly?

**Yes, Regulusly. Since SO many people use my name in vain, I shall use my brother's name as well.**

You're one of a kind, Pads.

**I know I am, Prongs.**

So are you and your little friends going to join the little group Professor Dumbledore formed after we graduate?

Uh, 'The Order of the Phoenix', am I right?

Yes, that one.

Of course I am! I'll do anything to beat Moldyfart in the future!

**And I am, too! What James said, and I get to be a super secret agent like I've always wanted to.**

Oh, dear Merlin.

**The name's Bond. James Bond.**

Huh? My last name's Potter, Padfoot. Don't you know?

**Muggle thing.**

**Okay, you guys can stop staring at me like that now.**

Wow. I never thought in a million years that Sirius Black would take an interest in a muggle movie.

**The effects are pretty MAGICAL. Ha. See what I did there? Magical. And we live in a magical world? No?**

Just- just shut up, Padfoot, before you hurt yourself.

**How would I hurt myself?**

When you think too hard.

**Hey! I think perfectly FINE. Thankyouverymuch. My brain is the reason ladies love me.**

Right. Because Wizard versions of muggle pick-up lines are SUCH a deal breaker.

**Woah, mate; do you REALLY wanna go there?**

Oh, I wanna go there.

**Fine, then, mi amigo.**

Do your best, muchacho.

**LILY! Be our test subject!**

Excuse ME?

**Uh, I mean, can we test something on you?**

Does it involve flour?

It's not like we did that on purpose! It was all Wormy's fault!

**No.**

Does it involve shaving cream?

That was only one time! Alice's and Marlene's hair grew back, didn't it?

Yes, but I still need to make sure that everyone has their hair on. I repeat: Does it involve shaving cream?

**No.**

Apple sauce?

Not particularly.

**Okay, don't look at us like that; No.**

Does it involve any sticky substance that can be used against me when I'm in my dorm room?

It's not like I've ever been up there, but I'd be happy if you'd let m

Nice try. Well?

**Despite what Prongs said, no.**

Alright.

**Yay! Okay, we're going to write down certain, um, PHRASES. And based on the ones we give you, rate it 1-10 on a scale that makes you want to- erm- want to- what's the word?**

Hook up?

Excuse ME?

NO! Not LITERALLY, but just

Ha. Just pulling your wand. I get it.

Oh, yes! Lily has come over to the dark side!

**I am so proud of you, Lily-flower.**

Well, I only came because I heard there were cookies.

**Alright, let's begin: I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I'm about to get lucky.**

Meh. Too overused during Potions, but it's pretty cute. 5.

Haha! In your face! My turn:Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

Hmm. I can laugh at that but I have to say that I'd never thought JAMES would pull out a Slytherin joke. 6.

**Hey! That's not fair! Just because he's your lover boy doesn't mean you should be biased!**

HE IS NOT MY LOVER BOY. And I'm not biased. Continue.

**Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it. Ahem:****You must be magical, because I've fallen under your spell.**

You know, I've heard that one several times when I go into The Three Broomsticks. But I can deal with it. 5.

Should I hunt down those gits? No? Hmm: Without you I feel like I'm in Azkaban and Dementors are sucking away my soul.

**Shh, Lily! Try not to laugh out loud!**

I'm sorry, but that was unbearable! 4.

**Muahaha! Loser: You don't even have to say "Luminos Maxima" to turn me on!**

Never heard that one before. (This is sarcasm, Sirius.) 3.

Ha! Be ORIGINAL, Padfoot. Like this: You can have the portkey to my heart.

…

**AWW. Is Lilykins BLUSHING?**

Shut up, Black.

So what's that score?

… 9.

HA! NINE! IN YOUR FACE, PADDY.

**Well, then.****One night with me and they'll be calling you MOANING Myrtle.**

Sirius, stop wagging your eyebrows. Hmm. 7.

Hey! Why'd you give him a 7?

Because one, I think it's knee-slapping hilarious. (Read this in a non-sarcastic voice, boys.) And two, I know for a fact that Myrtle's got a thing for you.

**Yeah, it's true!**

PADFOOT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT THAT!

**I didn't.**

Then who told you?

Myrtle. I'm quite friendly with her, you see.

**Ooooh, Evans gets AROUND.**

Not like that, you sicko. I stop by her bathroom when I take rounds.

…

**AH! Minnie alert! I already have detention from our DLF,**(A/N: If you've read Narnia, the Prince Caspian one, then you'd get where I got this reference from.)**Flitwick. I don't need another one!**

I'll leave in a sec. I'm just gonna tell Lily another line.

Hey, Lily, whaddya say you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?

Hmmm. Okay.

Alright, I was just joking, no need to-

Wait, you said okay?

Huh? No, it was a joke.

Really? Then why are you blushing Arthur Weasley hair red?

It's just really warm in here.

REALLY?

Really.

Are you sure?

No.

Uhm, alright.

… Yeah, it is getting pretty hot in here.

Um, I guess I'll go back to Alice now.

Uhh, yeah, Sirius is calling.

Alright, then. Goodbye, James.

Bye, Lily.

* * *

><p><strong>I just HAD to put it the LilyJames moment in der, because I recently rediscovered my love for the Marauders Era.**

**Ha, I had fun doing the pick-up parts. I LOL'd at them.**

**Hi. Review. Bye.**

**-**_**teanotes**_

**I think I'll love you for eternity minus a day if you review. If you didn't know, I love reviews. So review.**

**Down there.**

**V**


	11. Seducing Ghosts & Secret Relationships

**Disclaimer: Meh donut own Harry Potter. Methinks me wantsa donut now.**

**Alrighty, here's another one. **

**I feel kinda bad but then kinda good about posting ANOTHER chapter with Albus, Scorpius, and Rose. I'm sorry for those who are sick of them, but to be honest, I have a strange fascination with them. ESPECIALLY ALBUS. *heart heart***

**Okiieedokey, here are they:**

**Albus**

Rose

_Scorpius_

* * *

><p>Are you alright?<p>

**Am I alright? I guess.**

Stop being so vague and sulky; why are you being vague and sulky? You're sulking all over your History of Magic Book.

**I dunno.**

…

**OW! Why'd you need to slap me for?**

Because, you're being a dumbo and not telling me what's wrong.

**I don't need to always tell you what's on my mind. I NEED PRIVACY TOO, YOU KNOW.**

… What happened? If you don't want to tell me on parchment, at least tell whisper it to me.

…

What? Can you repeat that?

…

WHAT? THAT'S HILARIOUS!

**ROSE! I told you to not laugh!**

_Why's our little Rosie laughing?_

Because Al here w

**DON'T TELL HIM. HE'LL MAKE FUN OF ME.**

_Ooooh, that just makes me want to know even MORE._

I'm going to tell him sooner or later, Al.

… **Fine. Bullies.**

_We're not bullies! We're just your best friends, which, to be honest, are basically the same things._

**Whatever.**

_Aw, come on, Al. Don't go all broody on us again!_

**I DON'T BROOD.**

Right, just like you don't sleep with a stuffed lamb named Pappy every night.

**I DON'T!**

Right.

_Well, what happened to Al that made our dearest friend act this way, Rosie-posie?_

First off, DON'T CALL ME ROSIE-POSIE. And second, it turns out that our dearest friend was invited to Moaning Myrtle's Deathday party.

_REALLY?_

**STOP LAUGHING, SCORPIUS!**

Yeah, that's not even the best part; he went yesterday an

_That's why you told us you were going out? I thought you were practicing on your broom!_

I know, stop interrupting me, Scorp. Anyway, he went to the party yesterday, and finds that no one's even there except Myrtle and him! She tried to bloody seduce him and went right through him!

_OH MERLIN. Now I really regret not seeing that._

**It wasn't funny! She tried cuddling up on me! I can still feel the ice-cold air.**

_THAT'S why you've been broo_

**Sulking.**

_Sulking, whatever.- Sulking all day? You're a bloody wimp, Al._

**NO I'M NOT! **

_What else did she say?_

**She told me she liked me better than my dad AND grandpa James. Told me I was sweeter. That was bloody disgusting. I couldn't take it anymore so I bolted.**

…

**STOP. LAUGHING. NOW!**

Aww, our sweet Albus caught the attention of a ghost.

_I KNEW that was the best you could do, Alby._

**Shuddup.**

Have you noticed that we pass so many notes? (A/N: OMG I have! LOL.)

_It's because we loooove each other._

**Speaking of love, how are your two love lives working out?**

WE'RE NOT DATING!

**I never wrote that you were. I just wrote 'love lives'. Never said you both were together.**

Well, it's not like we've been seeing each other secretly if that's what you're implying.

_ROSE! _

**Hahahah. You were always the worst liar, Rosie. So, Scorp, my soon-to-be-cousin-in-law, I**

ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER!

**Oooh, full name.**

We aren't together!

_Give it up, Rose. He already knows._

**One, that rhymed. And, two, I've been knowing.**

What? Then why'd you make us

_You. Make YOU confess._

Alright, Merlin. Why'd you make ME confess that, then?

**Because: Note confessing the truth = written proof of your predicament.**

…

YOU MONSTER.

_Mate, seriously, you better not tell anyone! Your cousins would murder me!_

**Ah, but what's the joy in keeping things in? I tend to, ahem, let things out. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.**

ASP! I WILL HONESTLY KILL YOU PERSONALLY IF YOU TELL A N Y O N E !

**Don't worrie Rosie-posie. I'll only let the nargle out of the bag when required.**

… Are you serious?

**No! I've told you a million times, SIRIUS IS JAMES' NAME!**

_Am I allowed to maim your cousin, Rose?_

Be my guest, Scorpius.

**You're such a bluffer, Scorp. We all know you won't hurt me.**

_No, I won't._

**SEE?**

_But, I WILL hurt Pappy._

**DON'T YOU LAY A HAND ON PAPPY. HE'S THE ONE WHO GUIDES ME TO SHEEPLAND.**

_Albus?_

**Yes?**

_Like I've said before: wimp._

**Well, I don't see you running faster than a Snitch anytime soon.**

_That was because the Snitch was actually chasing you_.

**HEY! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE SNITCH WAS OLD AND MALFUNCTIONING AND I JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE IN THE WAY.**

Al, no more CAPS LOCK. It hurt's my eyes.

**Yeah, I guess I don't need to damage your eyes any more than they are.**

My eyes aren't damaged!

**It is. That's probably why you chose to be with this dumbo over her-**

…

**BLOODY HE-**LANGUAGE**-CK, SCORP! That might leave a bruise!**

_You deserve it. For calling my girl blind._

Aww. Cute, but lay off the fluff, Scorpius. You know I don't like that. And I'm not anyone's property!

_Yeesh. Just standing up for you. _

Well, I can do it perfectly fine by myself. Or do you not think that?

_What? I never said that!_

But that was what was implied, wasn't it?

_Rose! You're blowing this out of proportion!_

Me? Why are you always blaming ME?

**Rooooseee~!**

_Shut up, Al._

SHUT UP, ALBUS.

_So are you saying you want to break up?_

NO! I'm sorry, it's just that I want you to know that I can take care of yourself.

_I know that, Rosie._

Don't call me Rosie.

_Okay._

**Whipped.**

ALBUS! JUST SHUT UP!

_We're having a moment here._

**Meanies. I hate you both.**

_We love you too, Asp._

Don't you stick your tongue out at us like that!

**Sorry, MOTHER.**

Don't GIVE me that sass!

**Wow, Scorp. Good luck with that THING.**

ALBUS! Don't leave class! It's still goin-

…

He's gone, isn't he?

_Yup._

Great.

…

_Wanna skive-off, too?_

Scorpius! That's terrible, it's horrific, we can get in trouble, we can- Oh, sod it. Yeah, let's go.

* * *

><p><strong>OH EM GEE! Rose Weasley skipping class? What has the world come to? Well, in a world with Bieber Fever and Twilight, I think it's possible. No offence to you Bieliebers and Twihards (*COUGH* notreally *COUGH*). <strong>

**Anyways (I say that a lot, don't I?), how was it? Good? Bad? A little bit in between? TELL MEH! Review, please!**

**Who should I do next? _Review_ and tell me your opinions! Variety is awesomesauce!**

**-_TN_**

**Review is Weiver backwards. Uhh, well that doesn't really work into a joke and/or pun… Whatever; REVIEW!**

**Down thar.**

**V**


	12. Naming Male Children & Shakespeare

**Claimer: Hi! I own this and-**

**Dis: Hey, Claimer! You forgot me!**

**Claimer: Uhh.. Riiiiight. _Forgot_. That's what happened. Hehe.**

* * *

><p><strong>Hi.<strong>

**I am sooooooooo sorry! I can't _believe_ it's been a month since the last time I've updated!**

**I also can't believe I forgot about this!**

**Well, I've tried to make this as long as I could for something that was rushed to fit in my time limit of an hour and a half. **

**I have to stop procrastinating. It's getting me nowhere. -_-**

**P.S. (What does that stand for, again?) If you look at the reviews and see that their writing doesn't match the chapters, that's my fault. I had an author's note chapter (previously CH6), and I decided it was useless so I chucked it out. I know how much ya'll hate those.**

**Hi! Here are our victi- uh, I mean CONTESTANTS today!**

James (the first)

Lily I (the first)

_Alice_

**(I love these three together.)**

* * *

><p>WILL YOU STOP POKING ME, JAMES!<p>

Why must you write in capital letters? Do you have anything against the lower case ones? Letter D i s c r i m i n a t i o n !

I really hate you, Potter.

_AWW. Oh, it is love. _

ALICE! I do NOT more-than-like him!

So you less-than-like me?

_What does that even mean?_

Oh, right. I'm dealing with lower levels of the mind. Maybe I should ask Professor Dumbledore if I can enroll to a higher year.

_That's rude, Lily! I am offended. _

Yeah, Lily-flower! Our children shouldn't inherit your mean genes!

I WILL NEVER HAVE CHILDREN WITH YOU, POTTER.

I think I like the name Hughes. Or Jackson. Oooooh, better yet; Shadow. Yeah, it's PERFECT.

I WOULD NEVER HAVE A CHILD WOULD YOU, AND IF I EVER DID, I WOULD NEVER NAME HIM/HER SHADOW!

Hmph. It's just a suggestion. No need to be all shouty.

_What if you have a girl child? What would you name her?_

Oh, no. Potter male genes are most common. Potter males are always the dominant genes.

_Wow. I can't believe your genes have an ego._

I can believe that.

_What would you name your child, Lily?_

If it was a girl, probably something along the lines of some type of flower. As long as it isn't 'Petunia' or anything. Also, 'Rose' is an overused name, anyway.

What about a boy? Since that's what we'll most likely have.

POTTER I

_Yeah, we know. "I WILL NEVER HAVE A CHILD WITH YOU, POTTER. Blah, blah, blah."_

Someone's snappy today.

She's probably PMS-ing. Girls tend to do that.

Or MAYBE your utter stupidity finally got to her. Boys tend to do that.

_You didn't answer the question. What name?_

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose 

By any other name would smell as sweet."

… Did Potter just quote Shakespeare?

_What's a Shakespeare?_

A muggle writer. A very famous one, really. Potter, I had no idea you knew muggle literature. Especially Romeo and Juliet. It's just so, so-

Romantic? Attractive? Beautiful? Lovely? Se-

Cliché.

Really? I thought girls love Romeo and Juliet?

No, I think it's stupid. Really, there were SO many plot holes.

Well, I liked Friar Laurence. Sweet bloke, really.

The Friar was one of the stupidest characters. He knew it was a bad idea, but married them to each other anyway. He should have stopped the marriage and talked sense into the couple. He WAS the adult in the situation. Plus, Will was a pervert.

_Who's Will?_

Adults aren't perfect.

But they should be responsible. They should be who kids could look up to. I like the Nurse better. Comic relief.

Well, I like Mercutio. He reminds me of me.

I can tell.

_I have no idea what you two are blubbering about._

OH! Maybe we can name our SON 'Romeo'!

Over my dead body.

HA! You didn't disagree to having a child with me!

Well, technically speaking, IF I did conceive a child with you, only IF, I would never name him Romeo!

_Okay, million galleon question: What would you name your (MALE) child?_

Uh, probably something starting with an H. I always liked the letter H.

_How about Henry?_

Ew, no.

Hughes! YOU DO AGREE WITH ME!

No. Never.

_Hughbert? _

No.

Hamtaro? (A/N: I loooove Hamtaro! :3 Just had to add that in.)

What in Merlin's pants?

Never mind. What about Hadley?

Nay.

_Harley?_

-Pause-

_Why'd you laugh, Lily?_

Harley is the name of a muggle motorbike!

_A what?_

Huh?

Does NO ONE pay attention during Muggle Studies?

No.

_Not really._

Grrrr.

Harvey?

Weird. No. (A/N: No offence to any Harveys out there.)

_Hector? That's a cool H name._

Hmm. No, I just can't see that.

Yeah, a child with my beautiful hair and Lily's beautiful eyes cannot be named Hector.

Potter, I

_Aw, I can actually see that! Your offspring would be so cute!_

… Aliiiiiiice.

YAY! I KNOW RIGHT?

Potter's hair is untamable and horrid. I would never want to unleash that THING unto children.

Correction: OUR children.

Re-Correction: NOT our children.

_James' hair isn't that horrid._

Thank you! Finally, someone with good taste.

_I don't really know the word for it, but it seems a bit hairy._

Hairy? No way. Hairy is the word you use for Bigfoot!

Bigfoot isn't real, Potter.

… _Um, Lils, I know you're new to our world and all_

I came here 7 years ago!

_Yeah, but Bigfoot IS real._

… Oh. Well that was a random epiphany.

MY HAIR IS NOT HAIRY!

_So it's bald?_

NO! I AM NOT BALD! I JUST KNOW IT'S NOT HAIRY!

Harry!

_Um, Lily. You spelled 'hairy' wrong. And I thought you said you were a higher level of the mind._

No, not the WORD 'hairy' I mean the NAME 'Harry'! It's brilliant, isn't it?

_Well, it is pretty catchy. Though why you'd name your child another word for fuzzy is beyond me._

A lot of things are beyond you, hun. And I just thought that if my child had hair like Potter's, he should have a name like Harry.

…

Forget I wrote that.

LILY-FLOWER! I KNEW YOU'D PROFESS YOUR LOVE FOR ME SOONER OR LATER! Moony owes me five sickles! I could dance for joy!

Please don't.

_Other than your strange outburst of OOC-ness, I think I do quite like that name. Harry._

OOC-ness? And, I know, as do I.

I LOVE YOU LILY!

Um, okay.

_I think he's waiting for you to write it back. He IS sitting patiently in his seat, staring at you with saucer-like eyes. I bet if he had a tail, he'd be wagging it._

Right. Well, I love you, too, Potter.

…

Uuuh. Did he just-?

_Did he just rip out the parchment containing your writing of 'I love you' and shove it in his shirt? I believe so._

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother asking myself 'WHY?'.

* * *

><p><strong>I ask that to myself, too, Lily. Smh.<strong>

**Anyways, I send out a thousand lamentations for my AFK-ness (_Away from the keyboard_). I have no idea why I stopped. I guess the only excuse I can give is that I had no inspiration.**

**Yeah, being in writer's block sucks.**

**On another side, I GOT BRACES! They hurt as fudge. **

**Stay in tuned (who says that anymore?) for my new chappies that will come! **

**Kthxbai.**

**-_teanotes_**

**Do you see that blue button that says "_Review this Chapter_"? Yeah, well, it's a Crumple-Horned Snorkack in disguise! Help me capture it so I can send it to the Lovegoods!**

**Thar it goes.**

**V**


	13. Repeated Apologies & The LOOK

**Disclaimer: As much as I want to, I do not claim Harry Potter nor the characters who so happen to belong to Joanne Rowling. Jo, you rock off my sock! I am currently only wearing one sock. That's how awesome J.K. is.**

**Yes, I know that many of you have requested Next Gen. And no, I did not purposely forget Lily II nor Hugo nor the Scamander twins nor anyone else who might be mentioned on this chapter.**

**Hi. Bye. REVIEW.**

**This is Next Generation, so if you don't know who these people are, GO AWAY. Lol, who else read "GO AWAY" in Moaning Myrtle's voice? Yeah, I'm a loser.**

Lily II

**Hugo**

_Lysander_

Lorcan

* * *

><p>Oh my GODRIC.<p>

**Um, yes, Lily?**

Hugo! Why didn't you tell me?

**Tell you what?**

You know what I'm talking about!

**I didn't eat all those cupcakes Victoire made last week! I swear! **

Hu, I wasn't talking about that.

**Oh, yeah. Dad ate them all, NOT me.**

Riiight. Anyway, I mean to say: YOU GOT A 108% IN THE CHARMS EXAM AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME? You're right up with me and Ly up there with the other 4th years! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

**Hey! Just because I show more of my dad's qualities doesn't mean I can't have any of my mum's, you know.**

Oh. Sorry, Hu. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

**Right.**

_Hello, friends._

Oh, hi, Lysander!

**Hey, Ly. Not to be rude or anything, but why are you writing on my paper?**

Hugo! Don't be so rude!

_No, it is alright. My mother always told me that the use of excess parchment can lead to the extinction of the burgowatts living in the trees. SAVE THE BURGOWATTS._

**Um, right. I don't think they exi-**

WHAT Hugo MEANS to say, is that it's very nice that you're saving a species, Lysander.

_It is fine. I understand that you do not believe in what I do. You do not have to pseudo a smile, Lily._

Oh. Lysander, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

**Woah. Déjà vu. Ly, don't listen to her; she unintentionally (so she says) hurts people's feelings a lot.**

HUGO!

**Yup. That's what you get for thinking I was dumb.**

I never thought you were du-

**Mhm.**

_Dumbness can usually be caused by the nargles swarming around your brain. Tell me, do you have blurry bouts of vision? How many fingers am I holding up?_

Ly, there are no such things as nargles. That's all a bunch of shiz mum and granddad made up.

_NO IT IS NOT, LORCAN_.

Yeah, it is. There are much better things to worry about that keeping your head up in the clouds. The only way your head SHOULD be up in the clouds, is if you're on a broom.

Really, Lorcan, leave your brother alone.

Whatever. 

_That is okay, he can bother me all he likes, he is just bothered that all the kneazles like me best._

Oh, yeah? Well, at least I can speak in CONTRACTIONS!

HEY, YOU LOT. STOP MAKING THE TENSION THICK. I STILL WANT TO LISTEN TO PROFESSOR FLITWICK.

**Temper, temper, Lily-kins.**

SHUT UP, HUGO. YOU LOT GOT ME MAD.

Maybe she's PMS-ing.

You can't use that excuse for girls' behavior ALL THE TIME! Merlin.

**Well, then, what's with the mood swings? Oh, Merlin, you better not be pregnant! Your mum would kill you! With the Bat Bogey Hex! You'll be bogied to death! Your dad would probably just look at you in the disappointing way that he does and stuff. You know? The **_**LOOK**_** © copyrighted by Harry James Potter (said **_**LOOK**_** is responsible for stirred feelings of guilt and shame boiling in your stomach.)**

First of all, Hugo, were all in 4th year. She surely isn't old enough to be in a relationship. And if she did, her family would rip him to pieces within minutes/seconds. And second of all, you talk like your dad and ramble on like your mum. Shut your yap.

**Hmm. Yeah, you're right. And, HEY!**

I'm sighing right now. I need girl friends.

**You have Rose.**

But she's, like, two years older than me!

**Well, she's short enough to be our age. And you are quite tall.**

Are you saying I'm freakishly tall?

**No! I said, and I quote, "quite" tall. Not freakishly tall. Much the opposite!**

Not really.

LORCAN I WILL SERIOUSLY KICK YOUR ARSE YOU NO GOOD SON OF A GUN.

My mother is not a gun, thank you very much.

**Speaking of guns, what is it again? I think I had it on my test in Muggle Studies, but I forgot.**

How could you forget? YOU HAVE MUGGLE GRANDPARENTS.

**Um. Yeah.**

If I sigh any much more, I'll honestly lose my breath. Guns = muggle Killing Curse, but it you can survive from them. I think Aunt Hermione told me that her dad had a shot on his calf. She said it was a scar. Ew. Not a pleasant sight.

**Scar? You DO realize that your father has one smack-dab on the middle of his forehead.**

Umm.. Right.

_Scars can be helpful. I heard that Albus Dumbledore had a scar of the London Underground on his left leg._

Um, that's… nice. I think.

It's loony. No wonder Al is as crazy.

**I don't think Albus Dumbledore is loony!**

Ha. But you didn't disagree to the part that Al is loony.

I… Yeah, never mind. Al is loony.

_I am sad to say that it's not the nargles fault this time._

Okay, now that's we've discerned Al's sanity, or lack-thereof, can we listen to our tiny teacher now?

Nay.

**Nada.**

_No thank you._

Ugh. Bunch of sods, I tell ya. I need girl friends.

* * *

><p><strong>I HATE YOU, TEANOTES. YOU SUCK. THIS CHAPTER ISN'T FUNNY. AND IT'S A SHORT MOTHER TRUCKER.<strong>

**I know, child, I know. And I hate myself for it. Buuut, this is the only thing I can get out of a day of writer's block.**

**SUCK IT, KID.**

**I hope you will be patient with me! Gosh, I still have to memorize that stupid ROMEO AND JULIET monologue for my Honors English class. (Yes, that was why I mentioned Shakespeare in the previous chapter. SMARTNESS ALERT.) Meh. Who cares about school? Oh, wait. I DO.**

**MMKAI. BYE. REVIEW. CAPS LOCK ATTACK. MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! :D**

**-**_**teanotes**_

_**I advise you to read the bottom WITHOUT the parenthesis (). It'll preserve your feelings that way.**_

**I love you (No, I don't). I will send you a million smiley faces if you click that Review button (No, I won't). I'll probably even give you a virtual cookie if you put RHINOCEROS in the review (No, I won't). Wink. (No, I didn't wink in real life.)**

**Review, friend! (No, you're not my friend)**

**V**


	14. The Potter Curse & Voldemort's Sneezes

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor the characters.**

**Woah. I feel very inarticulate at the mo', partly because I'm floored by the fact that I actually failed to update in more than a month. I was busy with stuff; though that is a lame excuse. **

**(BTW, who else watched the Hunger Games movie? I just about died. And, I watched it twice. CATOCATOCATO.**

**Yeah, Leven Rambin and Alexander Ludwig made me love CatoxGlimmer.)**

**Well, I'll try to compensate for missing—er, a lot.**

**Marauder people:**

James

Lily

**Sirius**

_Remus_

_**Peter**_

* * *

><p><strong>Yo, Prongs. I've been thinking—<strong>

_It's the end of the world!_

**Shut up, Moony. Get your own parchment.**

_Padfoot, this is my parchment. You crumpled yours up two minutes ago, saying that you weren't going to need it for the time being._

… **Right. **

What is it, Pads?

**Oh, yeah. What's the Potter curse?**

Uh, where'd you hear that?

**When I was at your house last week and you were in the bathroom (singing a Muggle love song) and I heard your dad and mum talk about it.**

(It was the Beatles) Er, yeah, well.

_**Oooh, I wanna know! **_

Hey, Wormy. So you finally woke up?

**WOOOOAH. No changing the subject, Potter!**

What? I'm not changing the subject—Hey, Remus, isn't the full moon next week?

_Oh, yeah, it is and—you're changing the subject, Mr. Prongs. Is it something so VERY unpleasant?_

**Well, Mr. Moony, judging by the color his face is colouring (periwinkle, I believe?), I have a right mind to think it is.**

_**Messrs. Padfoot and Moony, I have a strong feeling that Mr. Prong's strange behaviour has something to do with Ms. Lily Evans, as he is glancing too much in her direction.**_

_I second that._

**Tru dat.**

HEY! I can stare at Lily all I want!

You can WHAT at WHO all you want, Potter?

**Woah, Evans. How did you—**

How did I do that, you mean? Oh, I charmed your pens so that when you write my name on a piece of parchment, I'll know.

_That's slightly scary._

**Oh, stalking James, are we, Lily-kins?**

Shut up, Black, before I hex you, then give you a detention. With Filch.

**No! Not with Filch! I hate scrubbing those trophies! Stupid Tom M. Riddle and his stupid trophy.**

* * *

><p>Somewhere in an evil lair, Lord Voldemort sneezed.<p>

"Bless you, my Lord."

"Silence! I needn't be blessed!"

* * *

><p>Well, Marauders? What are you up to now?<p>

Nothing.

_Nothing._

**Nothing.**

_**Nothing.**_

Okay, that's scary. You all wrote that at the same time.

I believe the correct term is 'unison', Lily-flower.

Like I needed to be told that by you, Potter.

_**Harsh.**_

**Totes.**

Let me ask this ONE MORE TIME. What are you doing this time?

**Nothing, I'm serious—And stop groaning, you lot, it's a great pun. Now, I'm just trying to get it out of this git here what the "Potter Curse" is.**

Oooh, anything with Potter and curse in it sounds wonderful—RUDE—What is it?

_**We don't know. James wouldn't say.**_

And will never. It's too embarrassing.

**Well, now, that just makes me want to know even MORE.**

Yeah. Can't you tell it to me, Jamesy?

…

**Shetland sheepdog. Can you stop flirting with him, woman? You're going to give him a nosebleed.**

_Lily, I do think that's not the best idea—considering he has that look in his eye that he always gets only in Quidditch matches. _

What's the worst he can do?

_**Snog you senseless.**_

_Stalk you—more than he usually does, mind you. _

**Grope you?**

SIRIUS! I WOULD NEVER!

_**LOL You made him gasp aloud.**_

_What's LOL?_

_**Laugh Out Loud. It's quite easier to abbreviate things, FYI.**_

You're weird, Wormy.

**Oooh! ITTISCTDT!**

Uh, what?

_**Even I don't know.**_

**I said, I Think That It's So Cool To Do That!**

Well, ITTISSTATLT.

_And what would that be?_

I Think That It's So Stupid To Abbreviate Things Like That. I mean, doesn't it just make things harder to understand?

Well, it could be somewhat beneficial. If I were to say, IILWLE, you wouldn't understand that, now would you?

**I'd bet a million Galleons that said "I'm In Love With Lily Evans".**

Then you'd lose a million Galleons, because THAT IS SO NOT TRUE!

_Oh? Then what DOES that stand for?_

Uh, it means "I Injoy Long Walks and Lovely Evenings"!

Potter, I hope you know 'Injoy' is spelt with an 'E'.

Er, I do. AND IT'S NOT ABOUT LILY.

_Then why are you blushing harder than Arthur Weasley when he proposed to Molly Prewitt?_

Ah! Whatever. You lot are not my friends anymore.

Oh? Then who'll be your new posse?

Uh, Frank Longbottom. And that Lovegood bloke in Ravenclaw.

_Xenophilius? The one who talks about mythical insect creatures and runs that one magazine, The Quibbler?_

Uh, yes?

_Riiiiiight. _

**But back to the point, what's the Potter curse?**

I'd like to know that.

Fine. It's—Holy Merlin! It's McGonagall!

**Well, then, I'm off. I am NOT scraping Tom Bloody Riddle's trophy again!**

* * *

><p>Somewhere in the lair of Voldemort…again…<p>

"Bellatrix! I demand you give me that box of tissues!"

"Have you caught a cold, Master?"

"I? The great Lord Voldemort, catch a _cold?_ Pure BLASPHEMY! Someone must be using my name in vain! GIVE ME SOMEONE TO CRUCIO."

* * *

><p><em><strong>I gotta go, too. Professor McGonagall scares me.<strong>_

_I'm going, too. But don't think we'll forget this, Prongs._

Err, yeah.

…

Potter, you liar.

Huh?

McGonagall is helping Alice with her textbook-to-pillow transfiguration spell.

Haha. False alarm.

I bet you pseudo alarmed them, knowing that they'd leave so you won't have to tell them what the Potter curse is. Is it really that bad?

Well, not really, it's just that, it's kind of disconcerting. And don't ask how I know that word. I've been hanging around Moon—Remus too much.

And me.

What?

You've been hanging around me a lot this year, you know.

Oh? That's probably because were Heads. 

Wow. That's a blow to my ego.

Please, you don't have an ego. I saw you help that muggle-born Hufflepuff when she slipped off the stairwells because of those Slytherins. 

Anyone would do that.

Not everyone.

Wouldn't you?

Well, I would honestly just hex the Snake who did it, just for cakes. THEN I would help the kid. At least you helped first, hexed second.

That makes me feel good about myself.

Doesn't it?

But, really, what is the Potter curse? I've been wondering.

Okay. Promise you won't laugh? Or giggle?

Have you honestly seen me _giggle_?

Right. You don't giggle. You… snicker?

Snicker reminds me of some kind of fox. How about guffaw?

What? No, that reminds me of Slughorn. He puts the guf to the faw.

Yeah, you're right I—Wait a sec, we're off track.

Off track? Is that some muggle expression?

Yeah, as in "The train went off its track", and—We're doing it again!

Sorry, I just get nervous around you sometimes.

Nervous?_ You?_ Are you serious?

No, he's over there.

…

Ow! Sorry! Couldn't help it! No need to hit me. But, yeah. If you couldn't tell already, I kinda just might like you.

Oh.

Oh? That's all you're gonna say after I confess to you after seven years of crushing on you? That's nice.

Oops. I mean, 'Oh' as in 'Oh, that's cool.'

So…

So…?

Aren't you going to say anything?

Right, I think I kind of, maybe, like you too, Potter.

Oh. Cool.

Yeah, cool.

…

**OH, BLOODY HELL JUST SNOG ALREADY.**

BLACK!

SIRIUS!

**That's my name, don't wear it out.**

Ugh. You ruined the moment.

There was a moment?

**For being the brightest witch in our age, you're kinda thick, Evans.**

Shut it, Black! I don't need YOU to tell ME that's I'm thick! And we are NOT going to just bloody snog in the middle of a Transfiguring lesson!

Yo, Pads, in all seriousness (Don't say it), McGonagall is really coming your way.

**Ha! I won't fall for that one again—**

…

He got detention, didn't he?

Yup. Cleaning the trophy rooms.

And did he just say, "Curse you Tom M. Riddle!" out loud?

Yes. Yes, he did.

* * *

><p>Voldemort sneezed once again. Then closely after, he <em>Avada Kedavra<em>'d some nearby Death Eater.

* * *

><p>Well, the lesson is finally over. Feel like sharing the Potter curse secret with me, yet?<p>

Sorry, I guess we got 'off track' again. (That's a bloody great term. I'm going to use it from now on.)

Yeah, we did. (Good for you, learning Muggle things and all.)

Okay, well, the curse is that all Potter men end up marrying and falling in love with a redhead.

…

Oh.

Yeah.

**MERLIN'S BEARD, JUST SNOG ALREADY!**

WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP, SIRIUS?

* * *

><p><strong>Hi. I just. WHO DOESN'T SHIP LILYJAMES?**

**(Oh, yeah. Lily X Someone else shippers. Grrrrrrr.)**

**I'm uber sorry for not and never updating! If I were a flamer (which I am not) I'd flame myself! And then jump into a pool of water considering I'd be on fire.**

**Well, I'll try my best not to procrastinate anymore. (I feel like I've lost inspiration on my other stories; at least this one shall live on!)**

**K, bai.**

**-**_**teanotes**_

**I WANT YOU TO REVIEW! IF YOU DON'T I'LL… I'LL… *gasp* I'll eat your firstborn! Chocolate! I likey me some chocolate. OH, GOSH, JUST REVIEW!**

**V**


	15. Sick Ron, Normal Harry, & Smart Hermione

**Disclaimer: Disclaimed.**

**Hello, this is the new chapter, although I didn't need to state the very obvious. I have a very, **_**very**_** important 6-page essay in English due next week that my grade depends on, but guess what? Yes, I'm doing this. Gosh, I really hate my procrastination side sometimes…**

**Enjoy and Review, pleaaase! I pleaded you already, yeesh.**

**Today's lineup: The Golden Trio! (setting is in DADA in 6****th**** year)**

Harry

**Ron**

_Hermione_

* * *

><p><strong>I feel dizzy.<strong>

Suck it up, then.

**Merlin, Harry, you're so nice. I'm glad I chose your compartment the first day, mate.**

I think it's very suprising that you're able to give off sarcastic vibes off of parchment, Ron. And by the way, you were the one looking for "the great Harry Potter".

**And what a let-down that was. But seriously, I feel strange all of a sudden.**

Maybe Lav-Lav slipped you a love potion.

**Shut up! She did not.**

_Well, it's possible._

Hi, Hermione.

**Yo. What do you want?**

_Thanks, those greetings make me feel like I'm loved._

What's with everyone and sarcasm today?

_Harry, you were sarcastic all year last year. _

**Yeah, and broo—**

Say it, I dare you.

_Reverse psychology?_

**Reverse what-sits? And I'm still try to tell you lot that I don't feel well.**

Well, don't ask Snape; he's going to think you (meaning _we_, generally) are up to something. Then he'll take off a hundred or so points and the whole school will shun you, not including the Slytherins, even if you were doing nothing wrong except snoop just a smidge and send away a dragon to Romania and then save everyone's bloody lives all when you burn a turban-wearing professor with your hands but still Dumbledore doesn't tell you what's really going on and just spouts vague answers and monologues that don't answer anything but that he ate an ear-wax jelly bean.

_That's a run-on sentence, Harry. And if I recall, it was Professor McGonagall who took away the house points in first year, not Snape._

**Someone's got issues.**

I've got no issues, thanks.

…**Riiiiight.**

I don't! Anyway, just hold in your weird feeling till the end of class.

**Yeah, okay.**

_Wait! We should at least attend to it now, even though the probably of it being a serious danger is really low, it won't hurt to double-check._

**It's a feeling, not a bruise, Hermione!**

_Well, you never know. Maybe somehow you could have caught a fever or sickness._

**I'm not sick! I just feel dizzy, that's all.**

_Ron! You're practically snoring in your seat! It's making you drowsy._

**I'm dzziy, nto droysw.**

What? Sorry, I don't speak troll. Try Goyle.

**Ha. Quirel cn speka trlol, too.**

_See, Ronald? You can barely write legible letters! You have to tell Professor Snape._

**No, he's a gienat bat bgguer. **

I think he just called Snape a giant bat bugger. Quite original, really.

_But, Ron is ill!_

Alright, calm down, Hermione. I'm sure it isn't that bad.

_Isn't that _bad?_ HE IS SLIDING DOWN HIS SEAT._

**Oops. aieetbw—**

Okay, mate. How many lines have I written down? |||

**Sixteuy fur.**

Close. But, I think Hermione's right—

_I always am._

—You're ill, somehow.

…

_I didn't hear what he said from here. What did he say?_

He said he either, "Count the flora and fauna" or "Don't really wanna".

_It's the latter, Harry! We're not even in herbology class! Honestly, sometimes you can be really thick for the Boy-Who-Lived._

Thick? THICK? You're calling me THICK? Hermione—

_Harry, keep your eye on Ron!_

Bloody—

…

Is it me, or are his eyes rolling up?

_Harry!_

Alright, there's no need to panic.

_There is if Professor Snape's going to see him like this._

Who cares what he thinks?

_Harry, he is a teacher! There's a lot of things in where his opinion matters. And don't say that Dumbledore's loony to keep him as a DADA teacher; you know you trust Dumbledore, and in a stretch, you should trust Snape, too—_

Hermione! Just find out what the bloody heck is wrong with Ron!

_FINE._

…

_He's… _

Hermione, what is it? Did you forget the spell? If you can't do it, write down the spell and show it to me so I can do perform it on him. I'm much closer, anyway.

_Harry._

What?

_Harry, Ron is…_

Ron is WHAT? Don't keep me in suspense, Hermione. Bloody—_Language!—_is this how you feel all the time when I do that?

_To answer your first question, Ron has a wizards' fever. I don't remember what it's really called, but it's sort of like chicken pox for muggles. I think you only get it once, too. So this must be the first time Ron caught it. And to answer your last question, yes. Yes, it is._

He's sick? So he should go to Pomfrey. I think Snape would be able to tell if his own student is sick, right?

**Golsrpsv.**

Ignore that. I still don't know how he grasped that pen—but why is he all like this? Drowsy and all? Doesn't chicken pox only make you itchy?

_It makes wizards sleep for a long time. I guess this is the second stage. The first having inflamed joints, causing the inability to control his muscles._

It causes people to… sleep? Bloody heck, I need to get this illness. Do you know how much I lost sleep thanks to Voldy-arse all the time?

_Harry! Anyway, we've been making quite a fuss for a while now. I wonder why Professor Snape decided to ignore us._

Either he doesn't care or is torturing us by not letting us let Ron be inspected by Madame Pomfrey.

_Oh. Well, the class is almost over in about 14 and 54 seconds, so I guess we'll be able to hold for a while._

Alright.

_Okay._

D'you think Ron could spread it to Snape?

**Blgradgdzs.**

_It's plausible._

* * *

><p><strong>This is stupid and short, I know.<strong>

**Though, just an FYI that you should know, I don't plan out these things. I just go on my laptop and say to myself, "Okay, let's just get this torturous deed done with," and I start and just go with the flow. Honestly, this is a not planned thing. Though, on those rare occasions, I plan the gist of it during school when I'm supposed to be listening and imprint what I want to try out in my brain until I get home and type. That's the closest I get to planning out. T.T **

**Well, hope you liked it! Cause I didn't. Lol.**

**-**_**teanotes**_

**P.S.—REVIEW, please! There are a lack of reviews in my boring day-to-day life, and I NEED YOUR HELP! (I honestly need to restrain myself from Caps Lock-ing, really.)**

**V**


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